Sunday, July 26, 2009

Books by Their Covers...and other Assumptions


For Laurie and John One Week after their Wedding.

Laurie.
You were never one to do as you were told, though many may have that impression of you. You have such a fondness for dainty and dutiful practices, drinking tea, reading Austen, that type of thing. And I thought, at times, you may be engulfed only somewhat willingly into this appropriate world of social tradition. But you had only to look again and there you were slipping Baileys in your coffee and scribbling in the margines of Austen and your Bible. You would be the revolution noone suspected. You were always suprising and confusing in that way. We grew up together, so I do not lack for a good many more examples from teenage years to this effect, but most clearly in my mind is that example of your wedding weekend…I watched in admiration as the pipe organ played. as your father lifted veils to give you away. as we all prayed for you, threw parties and ate pastries. your were announced in his name…Barbeques and boats. Tea cups and the trinity all gave tribute to your proper and traditional life. And I think appropriately so.

But I saw you sighing beneath all that new silverware and silk skirts. growing weary and wishing for a moment. a memoir for your other way of life..one that, perhaps you wrote into your wedding day without anyones help at all. You wore your pink old navy sandals down the aisle and forgot about the cake. You sang a hymn only I would know we had heard so many christamas ago redone by a indie pop singer as we drove through the low end of town. You cut your dress with scissors from the golf club gift shop attendant so you could dance. You were honoring your resistant and courageous life. And I think appropraitely so.

John,
I do not know you well save for the time I hung up on you. and later after confessing over coffee I could see how greatly you hoped to pursue laurie with all love and appropriate ritual and honor. and i also hear from laurie that you like sailing and boats and water. I dont know much of these things except that I am sure that they hold the same disreguard for civility in them that a good Augustine or Neitzche might, so I am glad. I suppose you delight in the delicious duality of your now wife. it is of course different and of course the same as yours. Hearts are often mirrors, after all.

To you both,
You know, I think too many people told you that it is supposed to be hard and I hope now you didn’t believe it every time. Its hard, god knows and I certainly do, but it also not hard at all. So I hope for you remember that too. That you sip tea and dress in fine attire. Top hats even. That you sing hymns with lauries mother around that old upright... And that you also slip away for a smoke when a dinner party gets boring. That you read Trompsky and Kirkegaard at the same time, in bed together. and, for god's sake, that you help each other cut the clothing if you can’t dance.

Your friend and bridesmaid.
Ashley

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