Monday, January 01, 2007

christmas day.

sally mann, jessie bites
I have climbed the wall of this mountain to perch with the birds on bare branches and wait. Watching the rain pull up the earth and make moats around my feet. Greed gathers hot on my face and parades before me all those I want to take my place. instructors. Ben. the messiah. I am quick and jealous of Josephs and Marys now propped beneath their dry wooden roofs in front of churches and hospitals.

I want so badly to be home again. To be warmed between the fire and my dog’s side. To abandon this nativity scene for something more predictable. gift cards, my uncle’s jokes about conservative politics, stockings.

I listen to the water outside my raincoat and watch the clouds turn to tarnished silver. there are flaming stars rising in the east. Old men with saddle bags full of gold following the stars’ smoke signals. The great primordial movement is violent and surging, threatening a mother’s womb.

Even so, come lord Jesus.

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